Monday, December 06, 2004

Thought du Jour

A quote for the day:
"Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose as a friend if he were a woman." ~Joseph Joubert

Some of my friends have been trying to convince me why it would be to my advantage to get a boyfriend. Now, I don't mind their meddling- they want the best for me, of that I am sure- but I have been quite happy for the last 15 years without one.

I have my standards for boyfriends. I want someone who values me for who I am, and takes pride in who I am and what I do. I want someone who doesn't want to change me- who likes me just the way I am. I want someone loyal, honest, and trustworthy. Intelligence is nice, a sense of humor is a must, good looks is obviously always a plus. Personal interests should match mine enough that we don't bicker over everything. Above all, he should be a friend, as much as a boyfriend. I want someone who treats me with respect, as an equal human being, if he doesn't put me on the pedestal that I think all women deserve to be on. Courtesy and chivalry should not be dead to him. More than anything, he has to be a Christian who both talks the talk and walks the Walk. Words are meaningless without actions behind them.

I know that sounds like a superman, but I don't think it is unreasonable. Obviously I'm willing to bend a little bit, but not too much. I know there are guys out there like that. All you need is faith and time.

An author I like, Tamora Pierce, described the relationship between two of her characters like this:

"It's hard to describe a relationship like theirs to people, because most of us were raised to think love is fire, passion, and prolonged bouts of giddiness and strained emotions. The quieter kind of love looks kind of boring on the surface, even cool-hearted. Nobody wants that at first. Some people never learn how wonderful it is to be friends with a lover or a spouse, to know that here is someone you can be yourself around, and they will love you anyway, sometimes not in spite of your worse characteristics, but because of them. That kind of lover will stay with you through thick and thin, will make you feel valued always, and will make any disastrous occasion seem less so because you are with that person."

I don't know about you, but I like the sound of that.

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