Tuesday, April 06, 2010

The Tea Party Challenge

One of my Facebook friends posted a variation of this challenge to members of the Tea Party movement on her wall, and I thought it made a good point.

The Tea Party Challenge
Hey, members of the Tea Party! You think it's so bad that the government is involved in your life? Try this out for a week: Don't use ANYTHING funded by the government. This includes but is not limited to:
  • public transportation, including Amtrak
  • public radio
  • public schools
  • libraries
  • Medicare or Medicaid
  • Social Security or unemployment benefits
  • police or fire departments
  • all roads, bridges, etc.
Good luck!

Oh, don't think this would be hard? Consider the following:

This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock, powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly, regulated by the US Department of Energy.

I then took a shower in the clean water provided by the municipal water utility.

After that, I turned the TV to one of the FCC-regulated channels to see what the National Weather Service of the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration determined the weather was going to be like using satellites designed, built, and launched by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration.

I watched this while eating my breakfast, inspected by the US Department of Agriculture and approved as safe by the Food and Drug Administration.

At the appropriate time-- as kept accurate by the National Institute of Standards and Technology and the US Naval Observatory, I get into my National Highway Traffic Safety Administration-approved car and set out to work on the roads built by the local, state, and federal departments of transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the Environmental Protection Agency, using legal tender issued by the Federal Reserve.

On the way out the door, I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the US Postal Service and drop the kids off at their public school.

After spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the Department of Labor and the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, I drive back to my house, which has not been burned down thanks to the state and local building codes and the fire marshal's inspection, and it has not been plundered of all its valuables thanks to the local police department.

I then log onto the Internet, which was developed by the US Department of Defense, and post on Free Republic about how socialism in medicine is bad because the government can't do anything right.


Thursday, April 01, 2010

The Worst Remake Ever

So one of my friends thought it would be REALLY funny to play an April Fool's Day prank on me and try to convince me that they're going to do a remake of Casablanca, my favorite movie of all time. Yeah, I know, not funny at all. But once I got over the joke-- haha to you, Bryan-- we had some fun coming up with the cast and crew of the worst possible modern remake of that most beloved classic film. Results below:

Rick Blaine- Bradley Cooper
Ilsa Lund- Megan Fox
Victor Laszlo- Keanu Reeves
Captain Renault- Nicholas Cage
Major Strasser- Mel Gibson
Sam- Tracy Morgan
Ugarte- Shia LaBeouf

Directed by Michael Bay and Uwe Boll
Screenplay by Jeph Loeb
Soundtrack by Kanye West


Let the nightmares commence.