Saturday, February 26, 2005

Rod Stewart: Forever Young

Great song, beautiful lyrics...a blessing of sorts, I think.

FOREVER YOUNG (R. Stewart/J.Cregan/K.Savigar)

May the good Lord be with you
Down every road you roam
And may sunshine and happiness surround you when you're far from home
And may you grow to be proud
Dignified and true
And do unto others
As you'd have done to you
Be courageous and be brave
And in my heart you'll always stay
Forever Young, Forever Young
Forever Young, Forever Young

May good fortune be with you
May your guiding light be strong
Build a stairway to heaven with a prince or a vagabond
And may you never love in vain and in my heart you will remain
Forever Young, Forever Young
Forever Young, Forever Young
Forever Young, Forever Young

And when you finally fly away
I'll be hoping that I served you well
For all the wisdom of a lifetime
No one can ever tell
But whatever road you choose
I'm right behind you, win or lose

Forever Young, Forever Young
Forever Young ,Forever Young
Forever Young, Forever Young
For, Forever Young, Forever Young

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Two neat stories

Got these on email a couple of days ago...very interesting reading...

Many years ago, Al Capone virtually owned Chicago. Capone wasn't famous for anything heroic. He was notorious for enmeshing the "Windy City" in everything from bootlegged booze and prostitution to murder.
Capone had a lawyer nicknamed "Easy Eddie." He was his lawyer for a good reason. Eddie was very good! In fact, Eddie's skill at legal maneuvering kept Big Al out of jail for a long time. To show his appreciation, Capone paid him very well. Not only was the money big, but also Eddie got special dividends. For instance, he and his family occupied a fenced-in mansion with live-in help and all of the conveniences of the day. The estate was so large that it filled an entire Chicago city block. Eddie lived the high life of the Chicago mob and gave little consideration to the atrocity that went on around him.
Eddie did have one soft spot, however. He had a son that he loved dearly. Eddie saw to it that his young son had the best of everything: clothes, cars and a good education. Nothing was withheld. Price was no object. And, despite his involvement with organized crime, Eddie even tried to teach him right from wrong. Eddie wanted his son to be a better man than he was. Yet, with all his wealth and influence, there were two things he couldn't give his son; he couldn't pass on a good name and a good example.
One day, Easy Eddie reached a difficult decision. Easy Eddie wanted to rectify wrongs he had done. He decided he would go to the authorities and tell the truth about Al "Scarface" Capone, clean up his tarnished name and offer his son some semblance of integrity. To do this, he would have to testify against The Mob, and he knew that the cost would be great. So, he testified.
Within the year, Easy Eddie's life ended in a blaze of gunfire on a lonely Chicago Street. But in his eyes, he had given his son the greatest gift he had to offer, at the greatest price he would ever pay. Police removed from his pockets a rosary, a crucifix, a religious medallion and a poem clipped from a magazine. The poem read:
The clock of life is wound but once
And no man has the power
To tell just when the hands will stop
At late or early hour.
Now is the only time you own.
Live, love, toil with a will.
Place no faith in time.
For the clock may soon be still.

World War II produced many heroes. One such man was Lieutenant Commander Butch O'Hare. He was a fighter pilot assigned to the aircraft carrier Lexington in the South Pacific. One day his entire squadron was sent on a mission. After he was airborne, he looked at his fuel gauge and realized that someone had forgotten to top off his fuel tank. He would not have enough fuel to complete his mission and get back to his ship. His flight leader told him to return to the carrier. Reluctantly, he dropped out of formation and headed back to the fleet. As he was returning to the mother ship he saw something that turned his blood cold, a squadron of Japanese aircraft were speeding their way toward the American fleet. The American fighters were gone on a sortie, and the fleet was all but defenseless. He couldn't reach his squadron and bring them back in time to save the fleet. Nor could he warn the fleet of the approaching danger. There was only one thing to do. He must somehow divert them from the fleet.
Laying aside all thoughts of personal safety, he dove into the formation of Japanese planes. Wing-mounted 50 caliber's blazed as he charged in, attacking one surprised enemy plane and then another.
Butch wove in and out of the now broken formation and fired at as many planes as possible until all his ammunition was finally spent. Undaunted, he continued the assault. He dove at the planes, trying to clip a wing or tail in hopes of damaging as many enemy planes as possible and rendering them unfit to fly.
Finally, the exasperated Japanese squadron took off in another direction. Deeply relieved, Butch O'Hare and his tattered fighter limped back to the carrier. Upon arrival he reported in and related the event surrounding his return. The film from the gun-camera mounted on his plane told the tale. It showed the extent of Butch's daring attempt to protect his fleet. He had in fact destroyed five enemy aircraft.
This took place on February 20, 1942, and for that action Butch became the Navy's first Ace of W.W.II, and the first Naval Aviator to win the Congressional Medal of Honor. A year later Butch was killed in aerial combat at the age of 29. His home town would not allow the memory of this WW II hero to fade, and today, O'Hare Airport in Chicago is named in tribute to the courage of this great man.
So the next time you find yourself at O'Hare International, give some thought to visiting Butch's memorial displaying his statue and his Medal of Honor. It's located between Terminals 1 and 2.

Butch O'Hare was Easy Eddie's son.

CBC Sports: Governor General wants women to compete for Cup

CBC Sports: Governor General wants women to compete for Cup:

"Clarkson believes if the NHL isn't going to use the trophy this season, it should be freed from the league's clutches and contested in a showdown between the world's best women's hockey teams- the Canadian and U.S. national squads. "

As the NHL is basically out of commission right now, Canadian Governor General Adrienne Clarkson wants the women's hockey teams to compete for the Stanley Cup....sounds like a good idea to me! Very gutsy of Gov. Gen. Clarkson to suggest it, too!

Monday, February 21, 2005

Funny story from Quiz Bowl last Saturday

Okay, so we're on the bus on the way back from the meet, and we decide to stop at Burger King. We go in, get our food, eat, and come back out and get on the bus. Then Kevin for some reason wants to get everyone's attention, so he goes, "Boys!" Then he realizes that I'm there (the only girl along on that particular day) and he amends his statement to, "Boys and Carolyn!" Then John, the only freshman along, and also a friend of mine, says, "Oh, you can just leave it at 'boys'." (John and I have kind of a teasing friendship/rivalry/whatever you want to call it.) I said, "Can I deck him for that?" and Steve said, "You HAVE to deck him for that!" And Kevin (still trying to get our attention) gave John the verbal beatdown, saying, "Boys, Carolyn, and freshman!"

I don't think Kevin ever got the chance to say what it was he wanted to say. And if he did, I was laughing so hard I can't remember what it was.

Current Reading List

Some re-reads...some "I've started them but never finished and now I really want to"...some's what is on my list right now:

Roosevelt: The Soldier of Freedom by James MacGregor Burns
David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
Lirael by Garth Nix
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
The Transall Saga by Gary Paulson
New Found Land by Allan Wolf
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Sophie’s World by Jostein Gaarder
Major in Success by Patrick Combs
The Backstage Guide to Stage Management by Thomas A. Kelly
The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren
Wicked by Gregory Maguire
An American Life by Ronald Reagan
Memoirs by Pierre Elliot Trudeau
Folklore of Canada
The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
Uncommon Heroes series by Dee Henderson
Twilight by Kristen Heitzmann
Ice Bound by Dr. Jerri Nielson
Night Song by Tricia Goyer
Christy by Catherine Marshall
The Austen series by Debra White Smith
The Canadian West series by Janette Oke
I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith
Dark Horse: The Surprise Election and Political Murder of James A. Garfield by Kenneth D. Ackerman
Light Force by Brother Andrew

Red Sox vs. Yankees (as usual)

An article from today's USA TODAY about the baseball spring training verbal attacks between the Red Sox and the Yankees.

Yankees, Red Sox give their sound bites a workout
By Mike Lopresti (USA TODAY)

In the stormy relationship of the Yankees and Red Sox - a thousand pardons, the current order of merit should read Red Sox and Yankees - there is no off-season. They are either engaged in the hot war of a pennant race or the cold war of free agency, or the manly art of bulletin board fodder. The Israelis and Palestinians talk of peace, but Boston and the Bronx do not.
And so, on this day in February, now that the Red Sox have apparently taken numbers to stand in line to take swipes at poor old Alex Rodriguez, there is only one question.
Whose turn is it today?
Depends, probably, on which locker stall the notebooks, tape recorders and minicams surround. They have returned to training camp, like the swallows to baseball's Capistrano - the Big Two and their media hordes - and what better way to get the season's feet wet than provoke a little Boston-New York trash talk? Mud travels between those two cities much faster than the airlines or Amtrak.
The rest of the baseball world can only stand aside as the superpowers bicker. This must have been what it was like for say, Belgium, watching the U.S. and Soviet Union squabble.
The Red Sox have spent a lively winter as kings of the universe. Waving goodbye to Pedro Martinez, arguing over the fate of the last ball of the World Series, sending Curt Schilling's bloody sock off to Cooperstown.
As for the Yankees, either it's new arrival Randy Johnson apologizing for belligerence against photographers, or Jason Giambi saying he's sorry - sort of - for getting mixed up in the steroid scandal.
But both sides seem most at home when they are assailing each other.
Poor old Alex Rodriguez is currently the flashpoint, having annoyed the Red Sox by practicing tae kwon do on pitcher Bronson Arroyo in Game 6 last October, slapping the ball out of his glove as he ran past.
And last month came comments stressing his rigorous morning workout regimen while others - nee, Red Sox?-were taking their kids to school.
The Red Sox have responded with a fusillade of brickbats, implying that poor old Alex Rodriguez is not a genuine pinstriper, no matter what his salary says. Some men are damned by their personality, others by their paycheck.
There is some basis of fact in this, of course. Real Yankees wear World Series championship rings, and poor old Alex Rodriguez has none.
He arrived at camp over the past weekend amid expectations of a counter-attack, but instead came across with a verbal shrug, saying real Yankees don't indulge in backbiting. Except he referred to Arroyo as Brandon instead of Bronson, which ought to keep the talk shows busy another day.
How much of the current crossfire has been produced by hyperactive media is hard to say. But clearly, there is some burden now on poor old Alex Rodriguez. His first New York season had relatively modest numbers, ending with an unbecoming 2-for-17 during the immortal four-loss collapse against Boston.
Much more of that, and anything Trot Nixon or Schilling says will pale beside the platitudes coming from Yankee Stadium grandstands.
He has become a central part of this eternal tale of two teams, which sometimes burns so brightly, that the rest of baseball serves as a stage setting, to be seen but not heard. All we know, all we always know, is the big spending Red Sox are not supposed to like the bigger spending Yankees. And the old champion Yankees are not supposed to like the new champion Red Sox.
The American League might not be big enough for the both of them. But the headlines always are.

If you were stranded on a desert island...

If you knew you were going to be stranded on a desert island for six months, what would you take with you? (An adequate food supply, water purifiers, a basic first aid kit, shelter, and other basics being set aside for the moment)

A lot of people my age would say their Game Boy or their computer. Now, I sure wouldn't mind having my computer along, but where would I plug it in? My battery is broken so I have to keep it plugged in or it won't work. So, as that is out of the running, I'd bring a battery powered CD player and tons of batteries, and all my CDs. I can't stand not having any music floating across the airwaves. Then, I'd bring a couple of notebooks, pencils, and pens- writing and drawing are good ways to pass time. And, of course, I'd bring books. Lots of books. Reading for me is like breathing. I have to do it, and I love to do it! (Then why do I spend so much time blogging??)
But suppose the amount of books I could bring was limited to...say....five. Which ones would I bring?

First and foremost, my Bible. For one thing, it's sixty-six books in one. For another, those sixty-six books cover every genre there is, pretty much. Biography and history, of course. Poetry. Self-help. Romance. Adventure. Lots of good guys versus evil guys. Lots of military stuff. How could you not like it? Plus, it has the distinction of being the only book written by a perfect Author. You can't go wrong!
Then I guess I'd bring Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Omnibus edition. It has all five of his books in one. They're always hilarious reading, and make you think about some rather interesting subjects along the way.
Then probably Margaret Mitchell's Gone With The Wind. A long book, so even a speed-reader like me has to take a while to get through it all. And it's exciting and complicated enough to re-read a couple of times.
Then Jostein Gaarder's Sophie's World. Another long, complex book. It combines a history of philosophy with a mystery, so it's cool reading as well.
Finally, I'd bring along In His Steps by Charles Sheldon, or Mrs. Mike by Benedict and Nancy Freedman- not sure which at the moment- but I love them both, because they are sweet, powerful stories that one could never get tired of reading.

If I had more books that I could bring, I would take J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series, or Dee Henderson's O'Malley series, or Brother Andrew's biography, God's Smuggler, or Tamora Pierce's various Tortall books...argh! So many books, so little time!

Philippians 1:1-11

"Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ–to the glory and praise of God."
-Philippians 1: 1-11

Interesting quotes

"Try this thought experiment: Pretend you're a tyrant. Among your many liberty-destroying objectives are extermination of blacks, Jews and Catholics. Which would you prefer, a United States with political power centralized in Washington, powerful government agencies with detailed information on Americans and compliant states or power widely dispersed over 50 states, thousands of local jurisdictions and a limited federal government?"
-- Walter E. Williams

"“A two-party democracy is only one party away from totalitarianism.”

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Quote du jour: John Homer Miller

"Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens."
John Homer Miller

Psalm 1

"Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
Or stand in the way of sinners
Or sit in the seat of mockers.
But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
And on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
Which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.

Not so the wicked!
They are like chaff that the wind blows away.
Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
Nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous,
But the way of the wicked will perish."

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Quiz Bowl

Had a Quiz Bowl meet again today in Tilton....I know, I don't think I've posted about them before, but there have been two before this one.
Anyway, Quiz Bowl is a trivia competition in which students travel to a school in a host region of the state and compete in a Round Robin tournament. Ten games of ten minutes each. Only a school from that region can actually win the tournament, but the other schools compete for one of three at-large (or wild card) spots in the state tournament. At the moment, my school is in a position to get the second of those three wild card spots- which is very exciting! It's a great time to spend together.
The guys (and the other girl) on the team are the best. They are some of the nicest and smartest people that our school has. Most of them were on Granite State Challenge as well, but some other people joined that weren't a part of GSC. It's a special relationship and a strong friendship that has developed between most of us...and, of course, continues to develop.
I think some of the lines in the song "Welcome" by Phil Collins best describe our relationship and the time we spend together in Quiz Bowl:

"There’s nothing complicated about the way we live. We’re all here for each other, happy to give. Proud of who we are..."
"All we have, we share, and all of us, we care."
"Welcome to our family time... We’re happy giving and taking. To the friends we’re making- there’s nothing we won’t do...Welcome to our happy-to-be time. This is our festival, you know, and best of all, we’re here to share it all."
"There’s a bond between us nobody can explain. It’s a celebration of life and seeing friends again. I’d be there for you- I know you’d be there for me too."
"Telling stories and laughing with friends- precious moments you never forget."
"When I think how far I’ve come, I can’t believe it…and yet I see it. In them I see family..."

Friday, February 18, 2005

Good morning

A very nice email to get first thing in the morning...


God’s love is our morning light.

God’s luminous energy will always find a way to touch us.

God blesses each season of our lives with a beauty all its own.

Those who place today in God’s hands need never worry about tomorrow.

God speaks to us in the gentle radiance of dawn.

Every good thing we bring to the world praises His name like a silent prayer.

God’s love illuminates our lives.

In the small blessings in each day, His glory is revealed to us.

Acts of tenderness soothe the world one soul at a time.

Each new day is a gift from God.

God’s miracles are everywhere.

Live in peace and peace will live in you.

Live, love, laugh, and be happy!

Dream with your heart.

Smile often, just for the fun of it!

Sing your own song in your own special way.

Keep growing, keep dreaming.

Dance to your own special music!

Laugh some every day.

God smiles in flowers.

God is love.

Believe in miracles!

God’s love forever shines.

After the rain comes the rainbow.

God listens.

Relax, renew, rejoice.

Rejoice in this day.

Have a heavenly day!

Thursday, February 17, 2005

The Alamo

I watched the movie The Alamo in history class last week, and I have to say, it was awesome. Not too gory, just an appropriate amount for a PG-13 movie. And although the whole thing was quite good, my favorite scene was did not involve fighting or gore or anything like that. It was a scene when the Mexican army was out playing their "death march" right before bombing the Alamo. When they started playing, Billy Bob Thornton, who plays Davy Crockett, got up on the walls with his fiddle and started playing harmony for the piece, right back at the Mexicans. They played together for a while, and when the song finished, instead of firing the cannons, the Mexican army marched away. And Davy Crockett said, "It's amazing what a little harmony can do."

Wouldn't it be nice if the world could learn to play in harmony, too? Just one note at a time- one person at a time- would be a lovely change, even.

If only.

One of those days....

....when you absolutely feel like quoting Arthur Dent (from Douglas Adams' book The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) as a way of summing up your day.
The quote I mean is:

"This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays."

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Christian Cowboy (2)

At my church, my parents and I lead a special Chapel Time for the younger children. One of the songs we sing is called "Christian Cowboy". It's a fun song, especially because wherever it says "cowboy" or "boy" all the girls yell out "cowGIRL" or "GIRL". :-)
Anyway, I really like the lyrics, so I'll put them up here in their original form.

Christian Cowboy

I'm just a little fellow but I always liked to be
A cowboy sitting close to the man from Galilee.
I wanna have a round-up and the Gospel story tell
And get a lot of people in the Holy Ghost corral.

I'll be a cowboy, a Christian cowboy,
I'll work for Jesus all my days.
And on the prairie or in the city
I'll help him round up all the strays.

I haven't got much talent and I ain't too smart, you see.
But I can still love Jesus and he can still love me.
I find that all I wanna do is satisfy my boss
And be the bestest Christian boy that ever rode a horse.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Christian Cowboy

One Sunday morning an old cowboy entered a church just before services were to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt and boots that were very worn and ragged. In his hand he carried a worn out old hat and an equally worn out Bible. The church he entered was in a very upscale and exclusive part of the city. It was the largest and most beautiful church the old cowboy had ever seen. The people of the congregation were all dressed with expensive clothes and accessories. As the cowboy took a seat, the others moved away from him. No one greeted, spoke to, or welcomed him. They were all appalled at his appearance and did not attempt to hide it. The preacher gave a long sermon about hellfire and brimstone and a stern lecture on how much money the church needed to do God's work. As the old cowboy was leaving the church, the preacher approached him and asked the cowboy to do him a favor. "Before you come back in here again, have a talk with God and ask him what He thinks would be appropriate attire for worship." The old cowboy assured the preacher he would. The next Sunday, he showed back up for the services wearing the same ragged jeans, shirt, boots, and hat. Once again he was completely shunned and ignored. The preacher approached the man and said, "I thought I asked you to speak to God before you came back to our church." "I did," replied the old cowboy. "If you spoke to God, what did he tell you the proper attire should be for worshiping in here?" asked the preacher. "Well, sir, God told me that He didn't have a clue what I should wear. He said He'd never been in this church before."

Feline Heaven

Feline Heaven

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, "You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask." The cats says, "Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors." God says, "Say no more." And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat. The mice said, "All our lives we've had to run. Cats, dogs and even women with brooms have chased us. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore." God says, "Say no more." And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.

About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks, "How are you doing? Are you happy here?" The cat yawns and stretches and says, "Oh, I've never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best!"

"Do We Need to Know..." from Danny Sims

From The Danny Sims Blog- his response when one of his student would ask him if they had to know a certain thing for the test.

"The test will actually be a survey of what you know. So to suggest that there is any one piece of knowledge that you need to know, more than any other tidbit of knowledge is, for the test itself, rather pointless. There is actually nothing you need to know for the test. Your knowledge is for you, for your life, for your matriculation and maturation through college and points beyond. So don't look at this as knowledge you need to know for this or any other test. The test will simply provide you an opportunity to express your knowledge as a student and for me to assess what you do (or do not) know as your instructor. You do not have to know anything, at any time, especially for this or any test."

Monday, February 14, 2005

Change of scene

Decided it was time for a new look....what do you think of the new backdrop? Leave comments and let me know.

It's good to have a change of scenery now and then, I've decided. Keeps things interesting. I remember that when I had knee surgery in October 2003 I was stuck in the house for a week and I didn't particularly enjoy it after the first couple of days. I got so claustrophobic!
I'm looking forward to my first overseas journey in April. I am going to Paris and Madrid for ten days with some other Spanish and French students at my school. It will be an incredible experience...I can't wait!!!
Then, in May, I'm going to Italy with my family, as some friends of ours are getting married in Tuscany. Again, I can't wait!!

The teenage years are a good time to start to travel, I think. You've been able to mature a little bit, and can now appreciate the different cultures more. It's a time to expand your horizons (metaphorically and literally).

Have I mentioned-- I CAN'T WAIT!!!!

1 Corinthians 13

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not selfseeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. "

1 Corinthians 13 (NIV)

Have a blessed Valentine's Day! Spread love wherever you go! It makes a difference!

Sunday, February 13, 2005

The Prayer of Jabez

The now very famous Prayer of Jabez...

"Oh, that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, that I may not cause pain!"
1 Chronicles 4:10


Bible Jokes

Some Bible jokes for you, from a trivia book that I got from the library...

Q: How is a lawyer like a rabbi?
A: They both study the Law and the Prophets (profits).

Q: Why couldn't they play cards on Noah's ark?
A: Because Noah sat on the deck.

Q: Who introduced salt meat into the navy?
A: Noah, when he brought Ham on board.

Q: Why couldn't Cain please God with his offering?
A: He just wasn't Abel.

Lawrence of Arabia quote

"You wonder what I am doing? Well, so do I, in truth. Days seem to dawn, suns to shine, evenings to follow, and then I sleep. What I have done, what I am doing, what I am going to do, puzzle and bewilder me. Have you ever been a leaf and fallen from your tree in autumn and been really puzzled about it? That's the feeling."

--Thomas Edward Lawrence (AKA Lawrence of Arabia)
From a letter to Eric Kennington

Friday, February 11, 2005


The annual semiformal dance is coming up very soon, and this verse is one that I try to remember when I am getting a beautiful dress, fixing my hair, and doing my makeup.

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."
1 Peter 3: 3-4

Let him pray

James 5: 13-16:

"Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

Friday, February 04, 2005

The World According to Student Bloopers

When I read these I laughed so hard that I turned red, my stomach hurt, and tears rolled down my cheeks. Then everybody looked at me like I was crazy. But it was so worth it!

The World According to Student Bloopers
Richard Lederer, St. Paul's School

One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.

The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.

The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?" God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Isaac, stole his brother's birthmark. Jacob was a partiarch who brought up his twelve sons to be partiarchs, but they did not take to it. One of Jacob's sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites. Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw. Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Philatelists, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines.

Without the Greeks, we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns - Corinthian, Doric and Ironic. They also had myths. A myth is a female moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intolerable. Achilles appears in "The Iliad", by Homer. Homer also wrote the "Oddity", in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath. The government of Athens was democratic because the people took the law into their own hands. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbors were doing. When they fought the Parisians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Persians had more men.

Eventually, the Romans conquered the Geeks. History call people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlic in their hair. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March killed him because they thought he was going to be made king. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his poor subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
Then came the Middle Ages. King Alfred conquered the Dames, King Arthur lived in the Age of Shivery, King Harlod mustarded his troops before the Battle of Hastings, Joan of Arc was cannonized by George Bernard Shaw, and the victims of the Black Death grew bulbs on their necks. Finally, the Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the same offense. In midevil times most of the people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the time was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verse and also wrote literature. Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.

The Renaissance was an age in which more individuals felt the value of their human being. Martin Luther was nailed to the church door at Wittenberg for selling papal indulgences. He died a horrible death, being excommunicated by a bull. The Renaissance was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented the Bible. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarette. Another important invention was the circulation of blood.

The government of England was a limited mockery. Henry VIII found walking difficult because he had an abbess on his knee. Queen Elizabeth’s navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo.

The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespear. Shakespear never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He lived in Windsor with his merry wives, writing tragedies, comedies and errors. In one of Shakespear's famous plays, Hamlet rations out his situation by relieving himself in a long soliloquy. In another, Lady Macbeth tries to convince Macbeth to kill the King by attacking his manhood. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Writing at the same time as Shakespear was Miquel Cervantes. He wrote "Donkey Hote". The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote "Paradise Lost." Then his wife dies and he wrote "Paradise Regained."

During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered American while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe. later the Pilgrims crossed the Ocean, and the was called the Pilgrim's Progress. When they landed at Plymouth Rock, they were greeted by Indians, who came down the hill rolling their was hoops before them. The Indian squabs carried porpoises on their back. Many of the Indian heroes were killed, along with their cabooses, which proved very fatal to them. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.

One of the causes of the Revolutionary Wars was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. During the War, Red Coats and Paul Revere was throwing balls over stone walls. The dogs were barking and the peacocks crowing. Finally, the colonists won the War and no longer paid for taxis.

Delegates from the original thirteen states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, A Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin had gone to Boston carrying all his clothes in his pocket and a loaf of bread under each arm. He invented electricity by rubbing cats backwards and declared, "a horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
George Washington married Martha Curtis and in due time became the Father of our Country. Then the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the Constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.

Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin, which he built with his own hands. When Lincoln was President, he wore only a tall silk hat. He said, "In onion there is strength." Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope. He also signed the Emasculation Proclamation, and the Fourteenth Amendment gave the ex-Negroes citizenship. But the Clue Clux Clan would torcher and lynch the ex-Negroes and other innocent victims. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltare invented electricity and also wrote a book called "Candy". Gravity was invented by Isaac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn, when the apples are falling off the trees. Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very large. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

France was in a very serious state. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened. The Marseillaise was the theme song of the French Revolution, and it catapulted into Napoleon. During the Napoleonic Wars, the crowned heads of Europe were trembling in their shoes. Then the Spanish gorillas came down from the hills and nipped at Napoleon's flanks. Napoleon became ill with bladder problems and was very tense and unrestrained. He wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't bear him any children.

The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. Her reclining years and finally the end of her life were exemplary of a great personality. Her death was the final event, which ended her reign.

The nineteenth century was a time of many great inventions and thoughts. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick Paper, which did the work of a hundred men. Samuel Morse invented a code for telepathy. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the "Organ of the Species". Madman Curie discovered Radium. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Ran-dumb Thoughts du Jour

I know I already posted one...but these were so good I had to put them on!

"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning."

"If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them." -Sue Grafton

"I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on." -Roseanne Barr

"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country." -Elayne Boosler

Ran-dumb Thought du Jour

Chrisism #36:

One more exam...and I'll pay 50 bucks to the person who takes it for me!