Today we celebrate mothers. It's one of the most worthwhile holidays in my opinion, honoring the women who shape who we are simply by giving us birth. My mom is pretty awesome. She is highly intelligent, my old Quiz Bowl coach, a librarian, a great singer, a Sunday School teacher, a confirmed bibliophile, a coffeeholic, a rising
"On Mother's Day I have written a poem for you. In the interest of poetic economy and truth, I have succeeded in concentrating my deepest feelings and beliefs into two perfectly crafted lines: You're my mother, I would have no other!"
"Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud "snort" noises.) I don't know why parents don't do this more often. Usually it makes the kid laugh. Sometimes it sends him into shock. Either way it quiets him down. If you're a parent, acting like a rhino has another advantage. Keep it up until the kid is a teenager and he definitely won't have his friends hanging around your house all the time."
"I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich."
~Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford, M*A*S*H, "Identity Crisis,"